A dragon, of course. It actually belongs to my son Nick, but he only has 99 (max) things not to mention my grandchildren Max & Clark, who could potentially be hard on a ceramic dragon that graced Nick's room in middle school & high school. So, I am guarding the dragon that is guarding the edge of the table.
314. Adopt a dragon. Or bring some keepsake that used to belong to a child out into the light of day.