Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Getting my own attention

I had this great idea for a blog. Maybe it will re-occur to me while I am typing. Maybe it won't.

Um, did you see me just sitting there, not typing?

So, trot out the old laundry list of what I've been doing today & in recent days past. Today was pretty fun because (for the first time) I submitted entries to the NCCCR Artists & Writers Quarterly. I put in 2 stories, 2 poems & 2 photographs. You may deduce from those numbers that the maximum number of entries per category is 2. If indeed you so deduced, you are correct. I had a good time choosing (so much to choose from!) a first batch. Perhaps next time I will enter some nonfiction & artwork as well or instead. (Probably "as well" is the correct term; I can't really see myself deliberately not choosing my faves...)

While I was at the Reuter Center, I read a fascinating article entitled "The Possibilian" in the April 25, 2011, New Yorker. It's about a guy named David Eagleman, who is a quirky neuroscientist at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. It is perhaps appropriate that I have a picture of a boy who is suspended in the sky, as far as the margins tell you, because the article opens with an anecdote (relevant) of Eagleman falling off a roof when he was 8 years old & the resulting apparent time dilation. Don't worry, the article isn't just about the mechanics of perception--you also get asp caterpillars, Emerson & Crick, rock drummers, a new religion, & how to free oneself from frivolous eating in order to work more efficiently. (Hint: raw potatoes, microwave, paper cups.) Check it out!

The universe works in strange & marvelous ways, delivering this to me a couple days after I saw a wretched movie that explored the very same life-or-death-time-dilation effect. (But don't watch The Green Hornet. Trust me on this. Read the article about David Eagleman instead.)

I just remembered my original idea!

Last week at poker, I won the grand total of $13.40. This is fun & lovely, but it is even more mindblowingly cosmically wonderful when I remembered that the week before I had lost exactly that much! I pay attention to numbers (My dad & I call each other when our odometers are about to turn over to some cool thing, like 55,555, which my mom & dad experienced within the last couple weeks.) so it was very appropriate for me to get my own attention this way. (Look, dear beautiful beloved being, I said to me, using the language of poker chips, what a powerful creator you are.) (I being the cosmic soul-ish part of me that can orchestrate such things & me being the chick enjoying her weekly poker night, winning some hands & losing some hands & getting help counting up my chips at the end) I actually enjoyed it far more than I would have if I had won $20.

This weekend was the rose show at the arboretum & I decided to go one of the days. Maybe Saturday. Got up & set the intention for roses & poker. Then Derrick really really wanted the lawn mower fixed & his truck is still in the shop so I volunteered to drive him & the lawn mower to the repair shop. Were we thinking it was likely to be closed, it being memorial day weekend? Nope. Ah, but it was. So, we drove to another shop, where my former property manager (Hi, Tom!) works which was open, but, alas, they do not work on that type of lawn mower. Told us to take it to Ace Hardware in Weaverville. Now, if someone else is all juiced up about cutting the grass, I'm all juiced up about helping them do so, & off to Weaverville we drove, where he discovered that they're 6 weeks backed up (summer's practically over by then!) & tried to tell him crazy shit about his lawn mower without even looking at it. Wasted trip? Au contraire. Some builder friends of his just happened to be there & they offered to let him use their new lawn mower, which lives less than 2 miles from the grass that desperately wanted cutting. (Hmm, did the grass want cutting? I shall have to ponder that...) Anyway, in the strangest way, we both got what we wanted that day: because Ace Hardware is right by a store called Roses. (& I did pop over to Buffalo Wild Wings & play some poker.) Sunday I checked out the rose show & smelled every single one.

I've also been having good luck with attracting (or perhaps just noticing) bluejays when I was thinking particularly wonderful thoughts.

Blog alternative:
210. Think about the sorts of things you like to notice. Songs on the radio? Numbers? License plates or bumper stickers or signs? Set an intention & see how you (that's the big Y You) deliver it to your (little y) self. You may be surprised & delighted by the method.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

(your name here), this is YOUR life

I don't blog for you.

I blog because I have something to say or a photograph or artwork I want to share or (ideally) both. This is my blog. This is my path. This is my walk. This is my journey. This is my life.

Don't get me wrong--sharing this with you is a lot of fun. If some of you are enjoying it, that's lovely. & if you're not enjoying it--stop reading! Do something else. Do not feel obligated to read this because you know me or someone you know told you that you would like it. If you don't like it, don't read it. Seriously.

We each have our own individual perspective. You can imagine a mile in someone else's moccasins, but any mile you walk is still your mile. (Plus, what are you doing with their moccasins anyway? Their moccasins probably don't fit you & (unless they are my son Nick) they probably need their moccasins.) (Nick is the king of barefoot.)

Yesterday we took a lovely walk, each in our own moccasins, err, hiking boots. Nice temperature, great foliage (the mountain laurels are blooming!), etcetera. We'd been carrying a philosophical conversation from one venue to another, & this path was no exception. One of the topics was happiness, & how waiting for some external thing to happen for it to be able to arrive (a different job, a bigger house, a (fill-in-the-blank)) meant that whenever (fill-in-the-blank) happened, there would still be a new (fill-in-the-blank) required. You just had to get happy here. You just had to get happy now. Pre(fill-in-the-blank). As we were leaving the walk, we loaded up the conversation into the Nissan Cube (cute car!) that the dealer lent Derrick because his truck has been in there since (practically) the Cube was invented, & set off for home.

Only to stop so Derrick could buy a pair of Carharts to replace the ripped pair he was wearing & I could buy me a cool Columbia shirt to replace the shirt I was wearing. It's my favorite summer traveling shirt, since it has a collar which keeps the seatbelt from rubbing my neck & woven rather knit & lightweight--& Carol Fosdick gave it to me years & years ago when she cleaned it out of her closet & the fabric has begun to disintegrate from overuse...

Only to stop again to eat at this (used to be Chinese & now is Japanese, with brand new decor & a TON of waitstaff) buffet. As we sat down, I made my totally brilliant statement for the day, distilling the entire philosophical conversation into one bite-sized unit:

If you aren't happy hungry, you're not going to be happy when you're full.

In other words, enjoy the creation of appetite. Enjoy all the other ways you're getting fed--through your other senses, through your thoughts & feelings. Enjoy knowing that hunger passes &--thankfully--so does satiation. How boring it would be to never want, or anticipate, or desire a meal, or anything else. Ahh, hunger. Ya gotta love it.

(We shall not be going back to that buffet, by the way. The food was okay, but more expensive than it used to be, not too surprising, given the decor & extensive waitstaff, & our waiter was extremely ingratiating, shaking both of our hands not once, but twice, & smiling super super widely. Then when he got the signed check, he instantly looked at it to see how well he'd been tipped (it's a buffet--he brought us iced tea & carried away 2 plates & we gave him 10 percent) & then gave us a pointedly lukewarm "thanks for coming" as we left.)

Blog alternative:
209. Think about the things you do for other people. If there are any that you are not doing for you as well, can you revise them so they serve you? If not, consider not doing them...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Fruit seeking Vegetable for friendship or romance

The king of all colors
offers a heart of gold

Just a quickie tonight. Wanted to post another picture, this one done with the virtual crayons. It's supposed to warm up tomorrow, back into the 70s, which will be welcome. We've had 3 days of chilly--even snow in the mountains. The gardens aren't exactly happy, but it has not frozen.

I am not a gardener, at this moment, but I sometimes hang out with people who are. & I like to eat vegetables & fruits. As a matter of fact, I had both, together, for supper, in the form of a grilled (okay, so I cheated & sauteed, it being chilly) strawberry & asparagus salad, with vinaigrette & chevre. Now aren't I fancy dancy!

Blog alternative:
208. Marry up a fruit & a vegetable. The aforementioned strawberries with asparagus is recommended (tomorrow I will add tomato & avocado to them) but how about kumquats & zucchini? If you come up with any fab recipes, I'd love to hear them. (& I'm going to add some of the free range organic boneless skinless chicken thighs I baked to my salad as well.)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Muck Boots Spokesmodel

a new picture, just for today

Yesterday they announced the 5 regional winners for Farm Mom of the Year. My sister's name was not among them, which I think must be remedied. So here, for all to see, (or at least the portion of all that reads my blog) is that which I wrote for my sister & emailed in to the contest. (I used to--& still do--call my sister Tracey Leaf. Much more fun than Lee...)

Muck Boots Spokesmodel

Tracey Leaf. Strong belief. Farmer's wife. Loves the life. Common sense. Can fix a fence. Swather. Baler. Pony tail-er. Prom dress fixer. Silage mixer. Recipes. Remedies. Sweet corn to freeze. Loving passion. Thrifty fashion. Good with numbers—also lumber. Build-a-shelf do-it-herself trash-to-treasure decorator. With-what-she's-got innovator. Irrigation. No vacation. Midnight calving. Boo boo salving. Change a tire. Light a fire. Teaches manners. Knows what matters. Good with money. Smart and funny. Help-meet. Sugar beet. Rogueing wheat. Good advice-er. No one's nicer. Ready smile. Extra mile. Blizzard, flood, drought or hail--she outperforms the U.S. mail. Brought a bucket calf and the milk cow, Flo, to school on Ag day just for show. Bum lamb to Bible school; kids thought that was cool. The class in anatomy and physiology came to see cows tested for pregnancy. Took town kids to get their own pigs and hauled them all to the fair when the pigs were big. Always in the kitchen for an FFA shindig. When out-of -town teams come to play ball, her quadruple baked spaghetti feeds them all. City cousins to the farm. Turn them on to country charm. Gave the ditch rider rides to the local VA (only 90 miles away) and cleaned up his house when he passed away. Taught chores to the boy who gave her daughter a ring and hosted an exchange student from Beijing. Doesn't whine. Makes life shine. Knows what to say. Knows how to pray. Makes time for fun, 'cuz work's never done. Cajoles. Consoles. Casseroles. Rolls with punches. Fixes lunches. Handles gritty. Cleans up pretty. Strong and sweet and wise and sure. Raising daughters fine as her.

Blog alternative:

207. Write an appreciation for someone, 300 words or less. Extra credit if you make it rhyme. (I also had to put in things like: educates consumers about agriculture & how she supports local ag organizations--I won't require that of you. grin.)

Monday, May 16, 2011

Into the wild blue yonder...

who the heck am I? someone even more wonderful & authentic & autonomous & creative & independent than I have been practicing believing. someone who is supported by the boundless universe. someone who lives in her own body but is not bounded by it. someone who is grounded & winged. someone who requires nothing of others & relaxes into the best of her. someone who sees the best of others. someone who be's. someone who is. someone who Is. someone who marries up with her inner self. someone who can feel it all coming together in the nexus of her own universe. someone who is okay with being wherever she is, knowing that there is bettering available. someone who trusts. someone who trues. someone who centers. someone who knows. someone who traffics in peace. someone who redesigns. someone who surrenders to the greater who of who she is. someone who loves. someone who breathes in & out fully. someone who creates. someone who is. someone who can be. someone who evolves. someone who eases into the next room for improvement. someone who is already perfect. someone who is now. someone who is comfortable with contradiction. someone who embraces paradox. someone who is graceful in her becoming. someone who opens to the everpouring. someone who blesses & is blessed. someone who is willing to receive. someone with open hands & heart. someone who can find herself whenever she turns away. someone with ease. someone who can rest. someone who relaxes into her next moment. someone who loves herself. someone who understands what loving really is. someone who expects the best. someone who understands she doesn't have to do it all. someone who is willing to have it all. someone who joys. someone who plays. someone who works. someone who knows what the true work is. someone who practices. someone who sings. someone who is learning. someone who knows the power of the moment. someone who lives here now. someone who knows what the past is for. someone who stands firmly on the ground of who she has already been. someone who dreams. someone who desires. someone who wakens to each day as if it is the jewel. someone who will not quit. someone who knows when to let go. someone who lets things flow through her hands & her heart & her life, enjoying & fondling & appreciating & loving without grasping. someone who is.

(just wrote this in 750words.com & I offer it to you unedited, along with another picture I did yesterday on the nook color)

Blog alternative:

206. Who are you? Explore the topic. (Remember, you don't have to share it with anyone. Be real. Open yourself to the possibility that you are already more than you are currently expressing. Who is that you?)

Sunday, May 15, 2011

lazy daisy puddin' & pi

another fun something
from my nook color

Today has been quite the busy lazy combo.
Got a lot done, including above picture.
General feeling, though,
lazy daisy puddin' & pi.

So I adieu you.

Blog alternative:
205. Be lazy.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Triskadekafilly: the triple crown winner

Friday the thirteenth!
It's my lucky day.
Well, one of my lucky days.
(The others are yesterday, today & tomorrow...)
I don't always recognize the luck when it is happening,
but later -- usually on the soonerish side of later --
I can see it.
It has been my experience that any luck I've ever had
-- even if it seemed bad --
had a silver-lined cloak.
Someone I couldn't get ahold of?
Opportunity to make a decision on my own.
Something that wasn't available?
Opportunity to come up with another
-- sometimes better -- alternative.
Whoa -- I can feel a little better than that.
(Eventually. Grin. You don't have to
-- & sometimes cannot --
rush out of the state of woe,
but you don't have to live there forever.)
Someone you can't count on for (fill-in-the-blank)?
Great time to learn that you can count on yourself
& the energy that creates worlds
& the fabulous universe.
Let everyone else off the hook.
Bad luck is just a myth in an old Hee Haw skit.
You can claim it if you want,
but I don't recommend it.

Blog alternative:
204. Relabel some luck, whether recent or ancient. What did it get you? (You might have to get creative, but I guarantee there's something silver there.)